Updates On Life

them Our one year anniversary picture!

Well, it's 2012. I know it's been a while but hey, I guess this still counts? What has happened over the last 3 months you say? A lot!

1. My one year anniversary with my girl Kilee.
It has been quite a year. Maybe some ups and downs but hey, which relationship doesn't have one? To be honest, we could never be happier! The break up was a turning point where my life went upside down, inverted and etc. However, I think it made our relationship stronger. She has made a lot of effort and I'm really glad that she did. We are more open about stuff rather than saying "yes, I'm okay or happy" and then ignore the true feeling. Our one year was absolutely great and it was my first time celebrating a year anniversary with someone special. We went to Mary's and had the best Italian food ever. Got to say that the place is our best choice and did I mention it's home like and romantic? After that we tried to go to the outdoor ice rink but it was kinda rainy and too bad it was a bummer. However, before that... getting Starbucks was awesome! I'm really happy to celebrate my one year with someone I love.

2. Trip back home to Malaysia
Not gonna lie, being back home after an entire year was totally different. I saw my friends that I haven't seen for so long. It's kinda different because it's my first time meeting one of my best friend after 4 years. The trip home in 2010 was good as well, but I didn't get to meet that many people and only saw like one/two friends. However, I'm glad I got to see them, have a guys trip and relax with them. Above all, I got to see and be with my parents. Yes, eating mom's cooking was definitely a highlight but seeing them was even better. It's kinda odd to see how everyone in my life has aged. I still remember how they look before I left and the years just flew by. I do miss them and hopefully I get to spend more time with them. Perhaps they should come here and visit me more often. Speaking of which, my mom and aunt gets to visit on May. Gonna be sweet!

3. School
Having 2 classes is not really all that awesome. Taking a class with my uncle and that's like 9 credit hour class. Haha. Anyway, getting my thesis on the roll is kinda slow. I need to do that and really finish it as soon as possible!

4. Valentine's Day.
Not gonna lie, I try to make it the best Valentine's day for her. I did whatever I could. I got her roses with variety of colors. However, they are not as pretty as her. :) This is pretty true! Anyway, right after I picked her up, we got pulled over by the lovely officer! Anyway, got a ticket and moved on with the date. You know it's never a date unless something happens. Something always happens when we go out on a special date. I wanted to relive the day I took her out for the very first time. It was amazing. We went to Macaroni's grill! Sat one booth away from where we sat last year (close I suppose) and then had frozen yogurt and we went to a movie! Saw the "Vow" and it's kind of funny because the guy in the movie relived the first date with his wife since she lost her memories. Oh and I didn't even plan this! Haha. It was a memorable second year with her. It's amazing that I love her a lot and get to be there for her.

Currently:
I couldn't sleep. So I decided to blog. I kinda did a mistake when I was with Kilee a month ago. I kinda do regret that I did the mistake. However, we are working through it. I do have regrets all the time about it.... however it's getting better. I hope things will get back to normal soon. One thing I did learn from the movie "Vow" is that no matter what, don't give up on your relationship. Fight the hardest and even if things don't look good, always look on the bright side and continue trying. We still love each other. That is important and it's good that we are both giving and receiving love. Up till now, she's the one that always makes me smile when I see her. She's like the sun to me... full of warmth, love, brightens me up and lightens up the road I take.

Well, that is all so far. I hope the updates are good.

When Everything Falls into Place

It's a post Thanksgiving post I guess! I'm just stating how happy I am with life at the moment. She makes me happy. I'm sure everyone knows that from the previous post. I definitely have strong feelings for her. It'll be our 1 year next week. Yeah. Next week! It's my longest relationship for sure. It seems like everything is falling into place with her. We got some stuff settled, we love each others company, we miss each other even when we had to leave each other for 5 minutes, we go out of the way for each other, and we are happy with each other. All I can say, I am really into her. If I know one word to describe all of this, it definitely is what I'm thinking. She hasn't said it but her actions and feelings tells me that. It's something that she doesn't have to tell me but I know she does. Everything is perfect. What more can I ask when I'm happy with her.

I'm Happy

As many of you can see, the tittle definitely suggest how happy I am and I for one am. I saw a really good quote and it went like this " Don't search for love, search for someone that makes you happy. Sooner of later, that happiness will evolve into love". You can say I really do like this quote and it is does make good sense.
As I haven't updated in a while, the girl and I got back together. We felt that our feeling were important and we don't seem to be happy when we are not together. Something that I really do agree. Since we got back together, I definitely can say that there was never a day where I find myself unhappy. She made me really happy and I make her happy as well. I always have a good time with her. I really do feel we can talk about literally anything together. Everything seems great. I think about her all the time. I'm really glad I got a chance to meet her. I for one am thankful to meet someone that makes me really happy.

A month or so after

It's been a while since the last post. I felt like I needed to write to get my thoughts out. As of late, I have been talking to her and hanging out with her a lot. Albeit, it's just as friends but it's still enjoyable. We have lunch and seem to converse fairly well. Went to the fair and oh my gosh. It was magnificent. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much and it just reminds me why I am fond of her. There's plenty of reasons to be honest. We went to the Dolly Parton concert and that was hilarious and awesome as well. I know what's going through the reader's mind at the moment. "What is going on?" We have talked about our differences and problems that we had. I liked her a lot and I wanted to give her a chance to think about us. I thought everything was going well. We can't stop talking to each other, our lives improve when we have one another and we make each other happy. Before I left for St. Louis, this is what I seemed to be getting. She said she has made her decision. Till today, I'm not sure what the decision was but I felt it was good since the both of us are happy. She wanted to make sure over the weekend that her decision is right.... however, it's fairly clear to me now how she went distant all of a sudden. I could sense a change of heart. It just somewhat shouted out. I had to initiate conversation, we couldn't converse with each other. You could tell the difference.
This continued till Wednesday. Come Wednesday, she asked "What are my thoughts of her religion?" I replied " It's a good teaching and I really like it. I would like to tell you more but it's hard via text". She said "it's our right to choose and that doesn't have to be the same" yet it followed by " I think we should be friends right now". I felt such opposite views being shot at me. Somehow I felt this was bothering her. I understand. It's important. Yet, I got somewhat reminded of the time when someone considered me a "lost soul" or when a friend made an impending judgement that I would end up in hell. However, I know she isn't like that. She's not the type to judge a person. She does want to make sure she knows what I'm thinking in the long run. I decided to open up and tell her of my experience on the good and bad of what I've exposed to. Perhaps I opened up but I didn't want to hide anything. I gave her a few views of what I think and it seemed good.
Well, despite that I still get the lack of response. I still have to initiate the conversation. I think I am done with initiating the conversation when I feel people are not interested to converse. We talked about this after the break up and it seemed like we got it fixed but I think we went back to square one where this happened. Conversations were one sided, and I seemed to be the one initiating everything. If she needs space, I'll give it to her. She said it feels weird and we don't talk. I agree but why does she become distant and make it do apparent. I don't know the answers but it's all up to her if she wants to tell me.
To be honest, she makes me happy and I think I make her happy. The world seems right when we are happy and together. I guess it's her choice and I do respect what she has chosen. I'm willing to wait till she manages to know the answers to her own questions. For how long, I'm not too sure but I'm willing for someone that makes me happy.

Onto the Future

It's been a while since my last update. I think everything is going alright. It has been somewhat relieving and somewhat intriguing. I had lunch with her and as always, I feel so comfortable around her. I just know her so well and beginning to trust her with my feelings. I don't know how she feels yet but I know I'm opening up to her a lot. I want to be there for her and being supportive. I was really happy at lunch and seeing her just gives me butterfly in my stomach. She always had this effect.
We talked a little, and it was good that we talked. We don't know what the future hold for us but as we are working on fixing the problems, I think it's good for the future. If we do end up getting back together after fixing the problems, I think we have built a solid foundation and our relationship will only be stronger. We'll see how it goes. I'm giving her all the time and space. At times, I would decide not to text her. I don't want to persistently be there that she gets annoyed by my presence. If it doesn't work out, I'm still not too sure how to handle it. I don't think I'm ready to see her with another guy just yet. It would remind me of the previous girls that I dated always either cheat or opt for another guy. If she decides to date someone else, I know that guy is really lucky. She is a really nice, sweet and beautiful girl.

Bucket List

Here's the bucket list that I created:

1. Own my very own house
2. Own a beach house (This is something very later on)
3. Run 5Ks in less than 25 mins
4. Learn to play the guitar
5. Travel around Europe, South America and parts of Asia with my friends or significant other
6. Attend a World Cup game (preferably Brazil 2014 and to watch my favorite team, Brazil play)
7. To have good abs at some point in my life
8. Learn another foreign language (Spanish)
9. Skydiving
10. Get on a hot air balloon.
11. Go to the 7 wonders of the world
12. Attend a concert by Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney and Santana
13. Visit New York for New Years days
14. To love and be loved
15. Buy my parents whatever they want
16. To somehow get my dad to attend all the concerts that I go
17. Buy my mom the car of her dreams
18. Make adventures with my significant other
19. Learn a new sports
20. Attend a Manchester United game
21. To go to Vegas with my dad
22. Be very good at skiing
23. Learn to bake a cake
24. Learn to cook food from 5 different cultures (so far only 1 is done)
25. Attend the wedding of all my best friends

So far, I only made a few but I'll think of more and add it as it comes.

Songs

While running, my iPhone played two random songs and even though it's corny but that was how I felt. I tried to use the emotion while running, telling myself I'll reach my goal once I finish the run.

Here are the two songs:
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
and
Time after time by Eva Cassidy

That's just how I felt at the moment and there are some parts of the lyrics telling me how I felt and how I like to share moments that just can't be replaced.

Hopefully some time tomorrow I can post my bucket list.